Relationally disconnected - a trauma wound.
The journey of self-discovery is one filled with opportunities to learn and observe our patterns. Learning the practice of mindfulness to create moments of pause to recognize our behavior patterns is crucial for identifying not just the wounds present in our lives, but also the coping mechanisms developed from these crisis moments and the systems we operate in from that point in time.
Disconnection serves as a form of protection and can manifest as a pattern in various ways. For instance, while I consider myself deeply connected to nature, my emotions, intuition, and some individuals, I've recently discovered a struggle in forming deep connections within long-term intimate relationships. Despite craving this kind of connection and the safety it promises, I found it challenging. I've acknowledged this as a priority, placing it at the forefront of my life. What I've come to realize is that I've learned to love others through a veil of disconnection. As a child, I lacked emotional stability, and the behaviors I witnessed around me involved chaos, lack of regulation, and disconnection, which my subconscious adopted to create its own coping systems. I unknowingly attract individuals who also struggle to maintain deep, trusting connections. Our wounds resonate, and over time, we discover the protective barriers we've constructed around ourselves due to past abandonment traumas. This visual representation encapsulates the cycle created by the fear of abandonment, leading to distance, blame, and eventual disconnection within the relationship.
Delving deeper, my exposure to my father's infidelity towards my mother at a young age shaped my understanding of relationships as fraught with disconnection and a continuous search for something external to fill the void within. Witnessing their inability to resolve conflicts and resorting to external sources for solace and connection engrained a pattern of disconnection in my psyche. Conflict within their relationship signified abandonment and abuse, leading to survival responses and emotional shutdowns. Growing up in an environment where infidelity was commonplace tends to perpetuate similar patterns of unresolved trust issues and seeking external validation. This can lead to repeating cycles of infidelity or sabotaging connections out of fear.
Cheating is not solely limited to physical acts but also encompasses emotional disconnection, transparency of the relationship and seeking validation from sources outside the relationship. Engaging in behaviors that undermine trust erodes the foundation of a healthy connection, fostering further disconnection and conflict.
Recognizing these patterns is essential to breaking the cycle of disconnection and creating lasting, healthy connections based on trust, honesty, and mutual understanding. By addressing the root causes of these patterns, one can foster a healthier approach to conflict resolution, leading to more fulfilling relationships built on compassion and love rather than fear and disconnection.
Every aspect of our lives, from relationships (kids, friends, business) to personal well-being (weight, addictions, hygiene), can be influenced by these deep-seated patterns of neglect and disconnection. By actively working to recognize and disrupt these patterns, we pave the way for healing and creating a new paradigm based on love, trust, and mutual respect.
The journey to overcoming these patterns may take time and effort, but by committing to self-awareness and growth, it becomes possible to break free from the cycle of disconnection and create lasting connections based on authenticity and mutual support.
I am here to support you on this journey towards healing and wholeness.
